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Well as you all can see that this blog has not been updated for quite sometime.Well mainly is because the laziness and inspirations are not kicking in me to write or express myself. However today i feel like expressing myself,and its been sucky. Well mainly this past few weeks has been abit f**ked up for me.Being criticize by my lecturer on stage( i do not blame you sir if u know my blog-la)haha.Performance studies has been f**ked up as well. And being a leader for the ps..gosh that aint right at all.It sucks to be a stupid leader in the band. it seriously sucks.Responsibilities are all in you,the rest of the members are shaking balls and wasting time.I cant blame them at all because they are in their "comfort zone" which are the music they listen too. Like example from classical to jazz?? that is hard accept for certain ppl who's from a classical background. And it's hard to work with them because of the duration of time..well whatever it is i hope i go through this and god bless me pls!!! i need a breakthrough for the freaking group! gosh!   

Well i kinda feel restless in a sudden..worried abt the future,studies and many more..what jo said was true,we do need someone up there to guide us and bless us..i was never a firm believer of god.Since i was young till now..it still does not open my eyes out to someone up there,or not convince by anyone about it..i have encountered alot of this issues,religions and all..i have encountered christians who judges people,being superior and "oh-so-holy"..it makes me feel these people are pathetic..at times people come to me and discuss about religion,u know buddhism and christianity...both do not convince me at times because both parties at times criticizes each others beliefs..and being very stereotypical towards each other..well what i learn from myself and from experince is be yourself..and do not always follow what the community says,comment or judge..when i was young i was taken care at a childcare center or a kindergarden(which is a protestant school or whatever it is :S) they drew a picture of gautama buddha and told all the students or kids "is just a statue of evil that u pray too" i felt pretty offended and i m a buddhist :S well or a free thinker for now :S until now i m still not convince to any of it..any of this bullcrap to me..is because of the people and at times doesnt make me believe in it..well what jo said christianity is a relationship with god,not a religion...i really hope that it is a just a relationship and no obligation like friends..because i want god to be a friend not someone to bow to,not someone to oblige to worship him or being a fanatic over it..i want god to be like my father and a friend who guides,listens and doesnt judge..show me unconditional love and love me for who i am as well...i m confuse towards these kinda stuff..and i need guidelines towards it..and if someone is really up there i hope u could make me feel peace and confident..jo i hope u are reading this..i love you

It's been long..

It has been quite sometime that i updated my blog :S well whatever it is,i've been really lazy to blog and no inspiration in my mind to write at all..so here goes,i've pass my theory and my practical assessments..however i m not really happy for my results in theory..i got a bloody C!!! well whatever it is i m gonna ace my next semester(jo i hope u are reading this :P love u :p) i've been reading the same books over and over again.Nicholas spark's a walk to remember and the notebook..god i m sick of them,reading it all over and over again!! and have been going out alot in kl and penang(or not really :S been lazying around at home because of holidays :P),i think that is all probably :P *no inspiration*

progress is on..

It has been days or a week since i updated my blog,alot has happened and i feel contented with alot of things..these past few days i've been enjoying myself with the music scene in kl and in college..may 14 of 2008 was the most memorable day..It open my eyes when estranged started rocking the crowd :D..they might be playing hard rock,but hell they were consistent in time,melody,rhythm,etc..it was really fun that night when estranged blasted the crowd.The performance was sponsored by motorola.4 musicians were introduced and invited to perform,they were Dennis Lau,the violinist who has great violin techniques and skills,who played alit bit of jazz,rnb and fusion.Well i saw him once in bangkok jazz,his band was really inspiring when they played a couple of tunes such as the old chinese folk song "Tian mee mee","i just wanna"which is originated by dennis himself,"an evening drive back to cheras"(i think that was the name of the song that my lecturer compose :P cant remember) and etc..and yeah,my lecturer performed for him..well back to the other 3 musicians..the other musicians were kiri a malay rock band..i cant really seem to find them exciting or inspiring due to their guitars were too loud!!! :P and a lady which i cant remember wat her name was :P which her singing was quite "funny" to me :P..while estranged was performing for the last encore song "velocity" my course mates and i had to mosh and head bang and we almost broke our necks :P..that was one hell of a night for me..may 14 was very memorable :D..after that night,the next day in the night,my sis and i went down to bangkok jazz to jam..we met up with fly the bassits who is currently playing for "akademi fantasia" and his drummer sudin and pianist wilson..it was one fun night although during jamming i did some mistakes in the first,two songs..but the third song was saved!!had alot of fun and experience..I've been practicing and rehearsing with my college mates,it had really occupied me and kept me busy from getting lazy..well is hectic at times for me to travel to school everyday(not everyday but mostly!! :P)however i m adapt to it and i like waking up early in the morning to college..the songs that i am playing has been set and ready but some songs are still in need to be rearrange..whatever it is i have fun in college..and had fun with my new friends just practicing music,talking about music and life and study together..well that is all for today..will write more when i got the chance

music music music..assignments assignments assignments..

I have not posted a blog since 30th of april..and loads have happened in these few days..well i m in penang now..i came back home for my driving exam and guess what?? i failed :( however no worries i'll be retaking it again on the 22nd(which is freaking long) i can retake the test on the 15th of may,which is next week but i m coming back on the 17th with jo to spend time with her.. guess i just have to wait again..and i have been traveling down alot from home to kl..home,kl,home,kl,home,kl..it's freaking tiring but well have to get use to it,if i m on the music line ..more touring and business to come in my way..well college has been fun and it has been keeping me busy with music pieces,homeworks,band rehearsals and sight reading.The best thing about music is i got to be creative and innovative towards arrangements,composing(will come to that later..i can't compose anything yet) and many more..well personally i cant play any melodic instrument,however i m force to learn the piano(which i never really got interested in it,and jo be patient if you are going to teach me :P) but to compose,i have to learn the piano and i admit is kinda fun learning and playing the piano(except with a theory book infront of you :P)..well i play the drums,which only includes "rudiments",coordination,time signature and groove..so i cant do much..the only thing i can do is provide the groove and rhythm..and honestly i feel sucky :( well the only thing i can do is to learn as much as i can in college and get networks from everyone..i m writing this down on my computer..and i feel relax at home..without any nagging from uncle and aunty(oops :P)..plus i have been motivated to jazz music again and tried to mimic buddy rich and max roach's "mister hi hat" but failed :( however i m trying to learn their style of playing..max roach's melodic solo's and buddy rich's fast hand techniques..well my drumming has been downgraded :( no creativity in my mind..single strokes has been out of coordination but while i was watching buddy rich's drum solo and got inspired by swing,bebop and gospel from hip hop drummers like thomas pridgen,tony royster jr,aaron spears,teddy campbell and many more..i have been playing drums for the past 6 years and still have alot to learn..well i might have some experience..but yet to be finish or never ending at all to learn..because it will always evolve..music will always evolve around us..well i shall stop here..till then..

happy and restless..

Well as you all can see what i wrote for my title,the balance between happy or sad.Or the fare share of happiness and sadness..well i m not gonna tell much about it..because when it comes to thinking about it,my chest feels heavy and a very unsatisfying feeling that you wanna release it out before it spreads through your mind and heart..actually its already been "spreaded" to both parts of it..we humans have loads of feelings,different feelings and reactions as well..well whatever we do,at times we lose ourselves because of those feelings and if we're fortunate or lucky enough to be patient and not letting it take control,then you'll be "perfect".As i m writing or blogging in my room right now,i feel restless when it comes to stuff that you can't really help..although i can help out in a way,but she was too afraid of letting me giving a helping hand..i m involved in the problem already and i would really want to help out as an "extra hand" because is never wrong to do something which is "unexpected"and unpredicted as well..it came naturally to both of us and i never think is wrong to have those feelings for each other..because whenever u found something new,there is always a lesson to it..and the moral to it..whatever we have done we will learn something new to be better in future..well its at times heartbreaking,however i would love and hope to able to control myself..and to help out because when we have those feelings,we cant bare to see each other fall or being stepped down..it'll be very heartbreaking and the feeling of having heavy chest which affects the mind and heart will destroy something you've created and yourself..i love her alot and very very much..this feeling i have to admit is still something new to me..however i have learned alot about it..at times i fall with hatred and resentment..but i'll always rise again and stand on my grounds..is almost 1am in the morning and tomorrow i have to catch a bus back to penang..i miss home alot and the memories that i had..that is all for now..till then..

7.00 am in the morning

It has been the second day,that i woke up at 6.30 in the morning,although my class in tuesday starts at 10 in the morning.Woke up in the morning felt the sensation of "blurness" however i decided and had to do my chores early in the morning just to wake me up from sleeping late again(sorry jo that i was late for class :P) The first thing in the morning i did was hearing the "annoying" alarm clock of mine just to get my lazy butt up..and gave a morning call to jo to annoy her :P( Kacau!!!).After washing up myself,i had to do my laundry and was surprised that my uncle woke up early as well(not that surprise actually,the old bird is always an early bird :P) Waking up early in the morning is a feeling of something fresh,your mind starts to function better,you are more alert than during the midnight and innovative things starts to wonder around your mind and creativity as well.Well personally i m not a fan of an early morning,i use to wake up late in the morning around 12 or may be 10 or 9.Since i stopped secondary school,i started to became lazier and hell it was a bad monthly holidays for me,till i started college then because of responsibilities that i m oblige to face it.I admit,i am always lazy in terms of everything,that is how i am at times however,i m willing to and had to change for the better good of myself,for everybody and even for my love ones just to prove to them i can do something out of nothing( sorry jo if i never really been a perfect guy for u,but i m willing to change and want u to see it as well) well is early in the morning right now and decided to post a blog,so whenever i read it,it will always reminds me of my past life and how much i change as well...well enough say for today,that is all i can say for now.Till next time..

first time..

Well it's my first time blogging,i can say that i m not a professional when it comes to expressing myself in words..or in writing..i m starting a blog,just to get me through the day,trying to express my self and letting a few friends know about my daily life,which some of them wants me to write and keep in touch as well(special *someones* :D) I've moved to kl and have been here for a month to further my studies in music..kl is a place where i can realign myself in a different situation and in a different place itself.I m from a small island called penang and had moved in to a big city which alienated me..seriously some people in kl are just really different from penang,although we're neighbours(far apart neighbors :P) but still people here are different..well kl has it's disadvantages and advantages as well..all places do actually..however i m a satisfied with my life in somewhere different,so i could explore and get exposures..well the place might alienate me but what ever happens,i just got to be ready and prepared(like what u always tell me jo..hehe and mom and dad,love u all alot) :D) Life in college is fun,my course mates are humble people and getting along is pretty easy :D and its a good thing to get networks as well if u're making a big step to the music industry..everything needs networks as well..without networks we would never rise and be successful...college is something new to me and its totally different from secondary school...and more stressed towards it :( but still it's to be enjoyed as well :D without enjoyment of what u are doing,we will never be happy in our young adulthoods..that is all i can say for now(lack of ideas to write :S) will update more if i have inspiration and fresh ideas :D